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Funnel is a marketing intelligence platform that helps professionals collect and analyze data.
The company publishes a video each month to go with its product update articles. These videos feature someone from the team listing the platform updates.
From developers and managers to executives, users see a team member each month. That’s a great way to humanize the brand and make it more relatable.
However, there’s a big problem with the on-screen narration—at least the ones I’ve checked.
On-screen narration refers to someone speaking directly in a video following a specific script. In other words, viewers can see the speaker. That’s different from video voiceovers, in which case viewers can only hear but not see the narrator.
The mistake I'll describe focuses on the scripts for on-screen narration. But it can also happen with video voiceovers.
SaaS pros don’t have a media background. That’s why they often make one specific error when creating videos.
I’ve noticed it across different companies and video types—SaaS product videos, demos, onboarding videos.
In the case of Funnel, this error happens with their monthly product update videos.
What’s the error?
Using complex scripts for video narration. Scripts that seem based on text meant for reading, instead of listening.
When this happens, videos are unwatchable. Why?
There’s a big difference between text meant for reading and text meant for listening. A product update article may be easy to understand and follow when reading it. Yet when you hear the same article out loud, it may sound complex and confusing.
Here are some narration script examples I’ve extracted from Funnel’s product update videos:
1st sample
We have done some new updates to improve bulk action in Data Shares, which include, number one, the option to ‘select all’ and ‘clear’ on all possible selections when choosing which Data Shares to copy from another workspace. Number two, the Data Warehouse and Excel list pages now have bulk action to delete, restore, and enable, disable.
2nd sample
With our new GA4 dimension filtering, exclude any unwanted data before importing it into Funnel making sure you only have the data you need to solve the problem in front of you.
3rd sample
Custom destinations, similar to our custom connectors, are integrations built and maintained by our Integration engineering team, and set up in accordance with your specifications.
Pick one sample and read it.
Although this text has a difficult readability level—12th grade, according to Hemingway—you can still follow along and make sense of it.
Now, imagine hearing this text instead of reading it. Chances are you’ll have a hard time to keep up and understand it.
That’s called text-to-speech mismatch.
Written language doesn’t translate well when spoken aloud. This happens because of differences in structure, rhythm, and complexity.
This is exactly the case with Funnel’s product update videos. The narration script seems to be built on written text that wasn’t adapted for video.
If you look closer at the examples above, you’ll discover many issues.
Sentences are:
As a result, the company may face multiple consequences.
If I were part of Funnel’s team, I would create narration scripts fully adapted for video.
For example, I would:
Let’s look at a real-life example.
❌ This is the Funnel script:
We’ve improved how you can create standard fields by simplifying the selection process while including clearer, more descriptive text about how to create the fields you need.
✅ And that’s my edited version:
Create standard fields more easily. [pause] We simplified the selection process and made it more intuitive. [pause] We also included text guidance to help you add new fields.
Here are the improvements I’ve made:
I would suggest that anyone creating SaaS videos try these simple guidelines. It may take some practice to achieve an easy-to-follow narration script or video voiceover. But that’s the basic requirement to make your videos watchable.
